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Hey teens!! Guess what!! SEX IS NOT LOVE AND LOVE IS NOT SEX! I know that all of the shows on your television station say otherwise. Guess what. They LIED. They lied because they feed into the teen angst of fitting in and popularity. Be popular by not following the pack. Be different. Keep your legs closed and your stuff in your pants. Sex is not a bartering chip you use to hang on to someone. If they will only stay because you cough it up when they want, guess what it isn’t a relationship. Not a good one anyway.
A relationship can function without sex. It should work even if all your clothes are on, and you should like each other sober. If we allow our children to watch shows like Jersey Shore or Teen mom, why are we not talking to them afterwards about the issues of the show?? Why are we not standing there telling them THIS IS NOT NORMAL. It only became normal when we stopped caring. When we started trying to make more money and have less time. When the dollar became more important than the downtime and our children have suffered for it, and it is not getting better. It is getting worse.
I can remember being a teen girl, and having what were considered risque shows. But I never wanted to trap a guy with a baby. I spent time helping with my nieces and nephews and knew a real baby was a lot of real work and real time. I knew I wasn’t ready for one at 19 or even 20. I did get married at 18 which was mistake number one, because he was a good guy who helped me in a bad situation. Not because we slept together and he was good in bed. Because he was a gentleman and wasn’t looking to get in my pants.
Today’s teens start younger and younger. It is scary. Plus they are not near as mature as we were at that age, because we have created a generation of individuals who have parents who hand over their every whim. We keep up with the Joneses because we think they have it all, but we don’t look behind their closed doors of their pretty front porches. What would we find behind them? A set of parents struggling to keep food on the table while paying for the car in the driveway that they still owe for the next 5 years on? Kids who have no clue how much anything costs because they have never had to spend anything of their own let alone earn it, because mom and dad have handed it to them. We want our kids to have better than we did but is this really what we meant? I mean we turned out pretty okay so apparently our lives were a lot better than what we are giving our children.
When I was growing up I had shows like the Cosby Show and Family Ties. They dealt with teenage drinking and drugs, rebellion and acting out and did it with love and brutal honesty. They were about teaching reality, that it is a big bad world and not what we think it is. When Theo thought he was grown enough to live on his own they turned their house into an apartment building, with all the bills that came with it. Quick lesson in reality check. Our kids don’t have a clue. We have led them to think it is just there like magic when they ask for it, instead of showing them the bills we have to pay we borrow from this one to give in to their wants, not their needs.
But it isn’t too late to change it. It starts with us and as parents taking control of what they see and explaining the realities of life. It starts now. Hopefully we can make a change that will save them from what I see as a future of indebted greedy children, who think they are entitled to it right now, even if they have to steal it to get it. Fix it before it is too late.. it starts with us.