rec·i·proc·i·ty
/ˌresəˈpräsətē/
Noun
The practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, esp. privileges granted by one country or organization to another.
Synonyms
mutuality – reciprocation
Some might call it you scratch my back I will scratch yours. I simply call it good blogging etiquette. When I moved from blogger to WordPress for my hosting I had over 300 followers. Not a lot compared to some, a plethora to some who may have just started. What didn’t come with me was that number. Google decided it would no longer support that product for blogs outside of blogger. Like many bloggers I panicked, how was I supposed to know who was reading me? Then I realized that it really didn’t make a difference. Readers don’t really matter. I could have a follower count of 1000 but if they don’t comment on anything I have written what use is that to me.
I know many say well you get more opportunities for revenue based on readership. That’s great, because yes, I like to earn some money from doing what I love. Putting words together to paint a picture in your mind. I put my heart on my sleeve and throw it all out to the wind in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will read it. But knowing you read it isn’t the end of the story. Hearing your feedback, your words, is what keeps me as a writer, well writing.
When I began having issues with my email account not sending me replies when I commented on someone else’s blog I was worried. Worried that they didn’t get the comment or that I had offended them. So I changed my email. In that moment I also took a long look at my reader on Google. I was following over 350 blogs, many of which I had never seen on my own page. I found them through various friends or carnivals or simply clicking a link on Facebook. Sometimes what they wrote that day spoke to me and I followed, for the most part that desire to follow remained, because their writing drew me in that way. But I RARELY read a blog without commenting. Not just hey I was here kind of comments either. I READ the piece and I commented on the things that caught my eye. I go back , not just when they are participating in a carnival or a blog hop. I put them in my reader and I go when I see they have a new post. Period.
Sometimes, because life is life, I have to go a few days without reading posts or leaving comments. But I always catch up later. Because I know how I feel when people do not say anything. As much as we as writers say we write for ourselves, there is a flaw in that. No one does something solely for themselves, least of all a passion. A dancer may dance because she has a love for the art, but she also knows that when she steps on stage her body becomes a message for anyone who watches her perform. If she did not want to get that message out she would simply dance at home, in the quiet of her own studio or room. But she doesn’t, because her gift is something she needs to share. It is her way of telling others that she understands, in the sway of her hips to the point of her toe, she has been there.
The same is true about us as bloggers. While we put it out there for others to read, the comments are our applause if you will. The pat on the back that lets us know how we have affected you with our words. We want to have a conversation with you. Now I have a few people who are just as loyal to the commenting as I am, I know they feel the same way. I also know that cliques tend to happen in the blog world. We think, oh they are more my speed or think like me, so we follow and block out other people and blogs. This isn’t high school. This is the world people and believe it or not we are not all going to agree on everything. But that is the beauty of it. You comment, I reply, not as hateful mean people , but as adults who are open to communication with others on topics we shy away from, or don’t know a lot about. Because we are all still learning. Your take on it doesn’t make me wrong any more than my take on it makes yours wrong.
Sharing.. we put these buttons on here to allow people to share something that has moved them elsewhere. I share a lot. Because I think everyone has a right to be heard, period. Do I always agree with the people I share items from, nope, but that is the beauty of it. I openly say hey this gives me a new way to look at it, I never thought of this before. If you were to take a look at my reader you would be surprised by the names on the list. I have everything from big and small that cover all genres and all subject matter. I didn’t like cliques in school and I certainly don’t like them on the internet. The world is a much bigger place and our minds have to be open to all it has to offer us.
So comment more often. Don’t just visit because I played in your blog hop or carnival. Readership may help pay the bills but eventually those numbers will fall. Because like me, others often get tired of feeling like a number on a wall. Am I expecting 300 comments? Heavens no. But one is a start. Most importantly, keep up with who is following you, if you notice someone is continually reading and commenting appreciate that person. Return the favor. Trust me when I say there are days that I don’t feel like reading the whole post, but I do. Because skimming is rude and makes you look like a buttnugget when you try to comment. It just does.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading.
This has been a public service announcement from the bloggers of the world.
Never a more truer post has been written, or at least spoken directly to me. I’ve got such a horrible case of blogblock but I’ve still been reading all of y’alls – alo without letting you know. Ok, unlurking has commenced and acknowledgment has begun. Again. Thank you for reminding us, especially me, that acknowledgment is important. Big hugs of thanks!
Ok. First, I have to comment on the last part because I almost peed my pants laughing at the word “buttnugget.” Do you know how long it has been since I have heard that word? Thanks for that, lady. Second, I did not skim to get to that last sentence.
I love your posts. I think they are meaningful and have some sort of purpose for you or for me or for others, but it is a wonderful voice. I still loves you everyday. muah! (((virtual throw kiss))) Keep up your fantastic self!
Momma Fargo recently posted..The Harry Potter House
Oh, hey, I was here!!
Haha, very good things to remember as bloggers!
Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..Ermagerd A Baby Will Be Here Soon!!
Ah yes, I love comments, too! And try to return the comment love when I can. I admit that it’s not always one for one. Life has gotten in the way!
Shell recently posted..What to Do with a Bad Pitch
While I do understand what you’re saying, there are times I read a blog post and have nothing to say or too add to it. Or what I would say has already been said by someone else, so no, I don’t leave a comment. When someone leaves a comment on my blog, I do my best to respond to that comment, even if it is just with a “Thanks!” Also, with a 6 month old, I’m at a time in my life when it is hard for me to comment. I’m lucky I even get a chance to read blogs posts, never mind comment on them! Often I’m reading on my phone while munchkin nurses. I hate responding on my phone. And if you have a capcha, or whatever it’s called, I often will not comment because they are so annoying. I often have to try two or three times and that cuts into my reading time.
Maybe those are excuses but it is what it is. If people don’t like it, oh well. I have other things to worry about!
Poekitten recently posted..Holiday VoxBox ‘12
Blogging definitely ebbs and flows and changes. It’s changed in so many ways just in the last year never mind since the inception of BCC. Of course I have changed too.
Ducky recently posted..Irishman’s Top 10 Movie Quotes
You cannot see me but I am doing a STANDING OVATION AND A LOUD CLAP, because that my friend, was FANTASTIC.
You are so spot on with….all of it. I can’t even pick out my favorite parts because I love them all so well. (and your dancing analogy was perfect)
Seriously, I know you said it was okay if we didn’t agree, but I agree with every single word. We are a community. It is one of my favorite things about blogging.
The Dose of Reality recently posted..It’s All Fun and Games Until Your Child’s Head Itches During A Lice Outbreak
What a beautiful post to meet you by
this was the most beautiful thing I’ve read all day. I love bloggers for posts like these, feels great to be a part of such a wonderful community of bloggers.
I totally get it, Angel. I have moved blogs – went from blogger, to wordpress, to self-hosted. I stopped and started back up again. Always coming back to different terrain. There are days, where I put something out there and I guess (now I don’t mean this literally) but I kind of want to be touched back? The comment feels like a pat on the shoulder – like a “I hear you sister,” kind of affirmation that would sometimes be so kind to give when I feel like I pour my heart out. It’s sad, but I have come to the point of expecting nothing. I know that makes me jaded. But I just can’t. I am gonna have to find peace that I will write and if they comment, they comment, but my fulfillment needs to lie elsewhere.
You are a beautiful person. Always have been, always will be.
xo,
kiran
Kiran(Masala Chica) recently posted..Letters to Myself
You speak the truth my dear but what really gets me is I’m guilty of what you discuss. I read certain blogs {such as yours} but don’t comment yet I sure do love comments on my site. Sounds like a double standard to me :/ Thanks for lighting the fire under my you-know-what!
Kimberly D recently posted..My Favorite Time Of Day: Downton Abbey Time #BoostYourBlog
So true, Angel. I have been guilty of reading and not commenting many times, but I feel like I’ve been better about that lately. I don’t want people to think I’m just a lurker because I honestly do read everyone’s posts and I do want people to know that I’m around and I do listen/care.
Robin (masshole mommy) recently posted..Gangsters, Killers and Thieves
Such a true post! We write and appreciate the thoughts and responses of those who take the time to leave a comment.
I’ve been terrible at keeping up with blogs (I sometimes read when I’m a passenger in the car, but can’t leave a comment with my fat fingers, ha!)
I am sorry all the technological transitions were a pain… just know that there are those who DO appreciate what you share and what you write from the heart.
Rachel recently posted..Punched