My phone rang early on Friday. It was my sister who runs the low income apartments in town. One of her residents had been hospitalized with pneumonia, and while she wanted to come home, her health was not up to par, without some help she would be forced to move to a nursing home. She called my sister hoping she knew of someone who could come in and help her out so she could continue to live in her own home. So my sister thought of me. I immediately jumped at the chance. For me it is healing from the loss of mom. But also I must face the fear that like mom she is not in great health. The thought of losing her terrifies me, but the realization that me being there is allowing her to live as she would like makes it worthwhile. We brought her home from the hospital, got her all set up. Made sure she had all she needed and kept poopooing over her overdoing it. When I finally had her settled in for the night I came home. Sunday I was back with some food I had made for dinner at home. Some light housecleaning and getting her medications straight for her. I left her with the knowledge she could call me anytime she wanted to , even if it was simply to talk to someone.
Loneliness. Mom talked about it. Being old and unable to do for yourself very well, while everyone had lives. Lives that you used to participate in until your health kept you from doing it all. I talked to mom every day, several times. Saw her every day. Devin went over there every day to play with her. When he heard I was going to be caring for this woman he was as excited as I was and has asked every day if he can come help me. That makes my heart swell with pride, that I have raised him to be compassionate and loving towards those who many kids don’t have time for. Maybe today I will get to bring him over. She offered to pay him for little things, he has refused to allow her to. He said he wasn’t coming to get paid, and besides that was wrong. Yes I am getting paid, but part of that is from a company that provides her help. The rest I don’t worry about. I think I needed her as much as she needed me.