The Red Dress club writing prompt.. my first attempt go easy on me

For several weeks I have sat back and watched some of my favorite bloggers participate in a writing prompt by a group called The Red dress Club. Always fascinated by the power and ability of other writers I was content to sit back and not get my feet wet. This week however I am throwing my hat in this ring. I can only hope to come close to the level of the participants I have enjoyed reading in the past.

” I don’t want to do this, it is too painful and raw and fresh. Can’t we just let sleeping dogs lie?”
“Now you know you cannot heal when you leave it there, you have to talk about it, come out with it and remove it’s power Anna. You are not meant to be afraid. It doesn’t look good on you.”
“I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING!”
“Yes you are, you are afraid of a lot of things. You are afraid of heights and of drowning, you get scared when someone puts their hand on your throat even if they are just playing. You fear death and you fear not fitting in. So you hide in the shadows and just stay in your fear. And heaven forbid should one of your fears come to pass, you use it as a crutch and to further you beliefs that you are not worthy of someone helping you.”
“TAKE THAT BACK ! I have given birth and witnessed the loss of my grandmothers and my father. I have lived through wrecks and troubled children and mental illness. For crying out loud WHY do you insist that I deal with this. It is over and done with and I don’t like talking about it. I was raped and YOU WERE NOT THERE! So why should I tell you anything? You have failed me , several times that I can think of now that we are on the subject. Let’s talk about that shall we?? Where were you when I was being molested as a child??What was so important that you couldn’t help me? Where were you when I was raped?? I didn’t see you jumping out of a nearby bush and rescuing me. You left me in that van, you allowed him to hold me at gunpoint and take something from me. “
” You are here aren’t you? I am here now. LET ME HAVE IT. STOP USING IT AGAINST ME AND JUST GIVE ME THAT PAIN!” 
” Why?? Why should I trust you, you are simply a man like every other one. Full of big promises and dreams that never come to pass. Eventually you will walk away, or become disinterested. Ya’ll always do. Leaving me once again looking in a mirror and realizing that I am not worth it so why bother. Just let me be okay.. I can not deal with this right now.”
” You may not feel worthy of love but you are worthy of love. I see the beautiful, bright woman inside there. With the gift of song and words, the ability to wrap her arms around everyone else, but never herself. You are your own worst enemy. Where was I you asked when you were molested?? I was in the tears that fell from your face, I caught them and numbered them and vowed to bring forth joy that was 10 times greater then the pain in those moments. When you were raped I was there, I was praying for strength to overcome you and for you to close your eyes and hear my voice over the din of your heartbeat in your ear. I whispered that you WOULD NOT DIE but LIVE. I have been here all along and I haven’t run anywhere. I cannot change the behavior of others, I can only do what I do, anything else is your choice. I spoke life into those dead situations. I brought you from those moments of fear and panic to this day, where you can even SPEAK that you were abused that way. Look around and tell me where I wasn’t.”
“Why me?? Why did they choose me??Of all the little girls in the world WHY ME??”
” Because they were trying to kill the ME in YOU.. But you had enough to survive and thrive, even before you were aware of my presence. I have been here, I will be here and I will always be here. Nothing you can do or say can change that. You are my image and I love you”
” God ?” 
” Yes beloved”
” It still hurts”
” I know child I know, it still hurts me too”

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