While perusing through my blogroll yesterday I came across Ksluiter’s post called.. Things I am afraid to tell you. Now I haven’t been reading her for very long, but long enough to know there isn’t much she doesn’t put all out there. But I think like many of us we hold some things back. Because we know deep down all of us can be Judgey Mcjudgersons (totally stole that from another blogger, I THINK it started with Shell but I can’t swear to it). But it started on another blog called Makeunder my Life and from there spiraled through the blogosphere.
There is even a neat little button for it..
So I know there is not a lot I leave quiet here. But I have switched up sites, and stepped into domain ownership and in the process I have gained some new followers, and lost some old ones. Sighs.
1. This is really about my only source of adult interaction. I love living in the country but I get lonely and I am not an all out there person in a crowd in real life. Get me with a COUPLE of people that is one thing. A crowd forget it.
2. I would love to go to a blogger meeting, but probably never will.. see reason above.
3. I don’t want a niche in blogging. Yes I am a momma, yep I am a blogger, but I am way more than that. I literally blow a gasket when someone calls me a mommy blogger.
4. I have a whole other blog where I write erotica.. shhhh.
5. I suffer from depression and PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder. Welcome to the ride. Buckle your seat belts.
6. I often think about getting in my car and just driving to anywhere but here, and never looking back. I love my husband and kids, but sometimes I just get tired of having all the answers, and no one even trying to do more or be more.
7. I am terrified of dentists. To the point of full blown panic attacks. Truth , my father blessed me with his crappy teeth, I need to have the all pulled and get false teeth. I went once to have it done and went into complete meltdown and they would not put me under for fear of me aspirating on something. Truth, I hate being put under I have a major fear I won’t wake up. Leaving my kids motherless. Terrified I tell you.
8.I would get a breast reduction in a heartbeat, but also have them add some to my butt. Gifts from my mother, all boobs no butt I hate it.
9. I constantly check my email for comments. If I don’t get any it is a real blow to me mentally and I begin the I am not good enough why do I write crap in my head.
10. I am my own worst enemy. When I read other’s writing I think to myself, wow they are good, way better than I am. Why do I even bother. I think it comes from being the baby of 4 girls. They had all already done it long before me. Spent my life being compared to them, expected to be them, and yet look nothing like any of them.
Ok think that is enough for one day.. and now I am terrified to hit publish.. sighs..
You really do have a fear of dentistry. I have one, but nothing like that. I feel for you because you want the work done, but are too anxious to get it done.
I much prefer to be in small groups of people. Blogging conferences were scary at first because of that, and even now, I still get incredibly anxious when I walk into a room and haven’t found that one familiar face yet.
You know, I haven’t always been cool about being in large groups, and actually, until someone gets me telling stories, I’m usually the last one to speak at a party. If I went to a blogger meeting I’d probably get kicked out in ten minutes.
Travis recently posted..My Finest Hour.
Nice post. I think its funny that I can relate to a few of them. Just shows me that we’re all more alike than we think.
Dentists never bothered me. I do hate it when people unlike by blog. Or me on Facebook. It take it personally even though I can never figure out who did it. jerks.
I did just get boobs. Gift from my mom–No boobs, no butt, and a stick figure. sigh
Where is the ME in Mommy? recently posted..Fitted Blazers v. Yoga Pants. A Truce?
I could have written that first one…and the second one, too. I’m so socially awkward, it isn’t funny. (not that I’m saying you are awkward)
Number six. Yep. I totally get that one, too. To pick up and start over – it is an enticing thought.
Don’t stop writing, please. You have stuff to say, and it is good, and no one else would write it exactly the way you do.
Tracie recently posted..It Is Time For A Father’s Day Frosty
I agree with you on some of these. I want to go to a blogger meeting to. But I’m to afraid to go by myself. If I knew a bunch of my blogger buddies (uh hum) would go as a group. I’m all for it.
I hate dentists too. Panic city. I would rather push out a baby then go to the dentist.
I used to call my I want to just get in the car and go, “going to 7-11″. So, if you ever get a text from me saying I’m heading to 7-11 I might be in your driveway soon.
Dazee Dreamer recently posted..I Think I Have A Frack In My Brain
You echoed me. I know the feeling of comparing your stuff against someone else’s… but what an incredible tool of the enemy to keep us from even TRYING!
Don’t stop writing, don’t stop sharing. We all have that insecurity (says the woman who can hardly find time to blog, and when she does, it’s something embarrassing, ha)
Much love.
Oh man. I hear you on the running away one. And I’m currently multitasking, checking for comments on my email while writing here….
O_o;