While perusing through my blogroll yesterday I came across Ksluiter’s post called.. Things I am afraid to tell you. Now I haven’t been reading her for very long, but long enough to know there isn’t much she doesn’t put all out there. But I think like many of us we hold some things back. Because we know deep down all of us can be Judgey Mcjudgersons (totally stole that from another blogger, I THINK it started with Shell but I can’t swear to it). But it started on another blog called Makeunder my Life and from there spiraled through the blogosphere.
There is even a neat little button for it..
So I know there is not a lot I leave quiet here. But I have switched up sites, and stepped into domain ownership and in the process I have gained some new followers, and lost some old ones. Sighs.
1. This is really about my only source of adult interaction. I love living in the country but I get lonely and I am not an all out there person in a crowd in real life. Get me with a COUPLE of people that is one thing. A crowd forget it.
2. I would love to go to a blogger meeting, but probably never will.. see reason above.
3. I don’t want a niche in blogging. Yes I am a momma, yep I am a blogger, but I am way more than that. I literally blow a gasket when someone calls me a mommy blogger.
4. I have a whole other blog where I write erotica.. shhhh.
5. I suffer from depression and PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder. Welcome to the ride. Buckle your seat belts.
6. I often think about getting in my car and just driving to anywhere but here, and never looking back. I love my husband and kids, but sometimes I just get tired of having all the answers, and no one even trying to do more or be more.
7. I am terrified of dentists. To the point of full blown panic attacks. Truth , my father blessed me with his crappy teeth, I need to have the all pulled and get false teeth. I went once to have it done and went into complete meltdown and they would not put me under for fear of me aspirating on something. Truth, I hate being put under I have a major fear I won’t wake up. Leaving my kids motherless. Terrified I tell you.
8.I would get a breast reduction in a heartbeat, but also have them add some to my butt. Gifts from my mother, all boobs no butt I hate it.
9. I constantly check my email for comments. If I don’t get any it is a real blow to me mentally and I begin the I am not good enough why do I write crap in my head.
10. I am my own worst enemy. When I read other’s writing I think to myself, wow they are good, way better than I am. Why do I even bother. I think it comes from being the baby of 4 girls. They had all already done it long before me. Spent my life being compared to them, expected to be them, and yet look nothing like any of them.
Ok think that is enough for one day.. and now I am terrified to hit publish.. sighs..